I love the Métro.

There, I've said it. Yes, it's smelly and yes it's impossible to negotiate with a wheelchair or a pushchair, but I love it.

I love the fact that the trains have tyres so the ride is smooth. I love the fact that he stations are sometimes so close that you can see people waiting at the next station down the line. I love those little levers that Parisians can flick effortlessly to open the doors, while the rest of us fumble clumsily. I love those little tip-up seats (which, gloriously, are called strapontins). I love the fact it's so cheap. And I love the fact that the map is almost comically difficult to understand, and the way the staff can be spectacularly rude.

But it knocks spots off the tube in London. There are three good things about the London Underground: the logo, the font and the map. That's it.